Very late to the party, but Balatro got me like whoa. Super fun and a good pre-bed game for me to get a few hands of before drifting off to sleep.
Since my last post, I turned gassed into very gassed and some recovery. Life is a cyclical thing and I will do well to remember that. But that doesn’t mean without action and involvement. One can’t just be along for the ride.
I am so gassed lately. Hoped vacation would energize. While I felt great on vacation, work has dragged me back down the instant I’m back.
A new MaxFun member
Finally joined Maximum Fun as a member. At present, I only listen to a handful of their shows, but I am sure that will change as I start spelunking more. A big recommend to anyone looking for a place to start with podcasts and want the most endearing and odd of the bunch: maximumfun.org/join/
Watching the season finale of the second season of Severance. I am glad other people are enjoying this show as well. I felt kind of alone watching this when the first season came out.
I had to step back away from saying a few things out loud today that could have landed me in more hot water than I need right now. That said, sometimes it’s better to let stuff out and deal with the reality of it. Knowing the difference? That takes age, I guess. I’m getting there.
Having another listen to Tribe’s last album We Got It from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service. Such a fantastic album and a reminder to be aware in the moment.
Change, steering, and words
In the current flux of all things my work, I have wondered how I make changes for or to myself. At my age, I feel a certain amount of momentum or somewhat cemented in the way I am. That extends from me as a person to who I am at home and work.
Can I change? More importantly, can I find something that I can do that creates more meaning for me as a person?
I read a book a while back that talked about how a misalignment in your professional life with your personal life can create tension. It’s obvious, of course, we all fundamentally know this. Just sometimes you need to read it in a book authored by someone who has realized this.
Do I make a big change? Momentum gets in the way. But sometimes momentum needs broken. I don’t want to barrel into a wall because of momentum. That’s a crash. A shift in direction can prevent a crash. Change the wall out for an open field. No crash.
Is it simple as that?
Busy with work
It’s been a rough couple of weeks with work. Outside of work? I’m doing well. There is just very little outside of work lately.
Still working on books. Currently reading How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe, which is a mix of funny and very human in a sad way. It’s an oddly-timed read for me right now.
Wrapping up the better book
I finished up Project Hail Mary over the weekend in a bit of a melancholy state. The book was really good. It was hopeful in a way that I really needed right now. So much so, I didn’t want to let it go. I had been on a pace to finish it under a week, which is not very common for me. Especially with so much work on my plate. But then when I got near the last 100 or so pages, I slowed way down.
I just didn’t want to let go.
It’ll be interesting to see what they do with the film. I can see how it would translate well to the screen. Hopefully it delivers.
Back to a better book
I started Project Hail Mary following my last book and it’s just such a jarring difference in quality. At least to me. I have been slamming through this book so fast that I will be finishing it in well under a week, which is fast. Again, at least to me.
I’m so happy to be reading again. It has been helping me sleep better and feel a bit more connected to myself and the world around me. That sounds odd out loud, I suppose. But it has been true.
Back to the books
I set a goal for myself this year of reading at least four books. That may sound low to a lot of people, but I haven’t really read for entertainment in a long time. I finished my first book of the year, which was Past Crime by Jason Pinter. It was… not good. At least it wasn’t for me. On to the next! Hopefully it hits a bit better. I am going to start a recommendation from a friend, which is Project Hail Mary. It sounds a lot more up my alley. The Past Crimes book was more thriller than it was sci-fi. I need more sci-fi than, well, anything else.
I kind of lost some time there. The last week of work, as my wife put it, felt like a month of time. It started off ominously with a night at my work computer until after midnight and then things only slowed down somewhat after. I will taking this weekend seriously. I hope.
Took tonight off work. Did non-work things. My director encouraged me to do so and it felt liberating. Churning late nights all day this week wouldn’t have been ideal.
Today blurred together in this horrible mess of meetings and calls before I managed to get anything done… on my own time. I debate sometimes what is worse: email or meetings. I suppose it’s both.
This week was such a fever dream. The handful of days that were paused for brief periods of sleep were so confusing. Work didn’t help at all.
Missing sleep makes me a broken person in so many ways ways. Currently patching holes with espresso.
I am trying to practice mindfulness more now. And on days like the last few, it’s taking a lot of effort. I just have to quietly chant to myself, “Head down, keep moving forward.”
I know I have mentioned weekends a time or two before and will try to stop doing it so much, but I think I know why I love them. Apart from not working, it’s about the variety. I can be productive, then enjoy something, and then take a rest all in the span of an hour without guilt. That feels good.